I learned a new word, Meningioma

How is one supposed to react to hearing a new word?  Depending on your educational level, you might be able to determine some sort of meaning or relationship of the new word.  Now, what if that new word was also accompanied with, “…it’s a non-cancerous type of brain tumor”?  Whatever the word was, there doesn’t seem to be enough focus to concentrate on the actual word; the only thought being, “brain tumor.”  Just how big is 12mm?  After catching your breath, the other questions begin to surface. 

What did you say it was called?

How do you spell it?

What does this mean?

What happens now?

I learned a new word yesterday, Meningioma.  I also learned that 12mm is just under ½ of an inch; a measurement that doesn’t seem all that big.  After spending most of the afternoon researching this new word, contemplating its relationship to my well-being, and recognizing my role in the how and why it is now part of my being and vocabulary, I am nervous, a bit scared, somewhat relieved, anxious.  OK, so I have a small brain tumor called a Meningioma; at least I know why my hearing has decreased so rapidly, why there have been strange headaches, why I often am off-balance when walking, why there have been times of disorientation, why I struggle with memory.  I’m thankful for the E.N.T. Doctor that didn’t just dismiss my hearing loss as age and ordered the MRI.  I’m thankful that I know what is causing the problems.  I’m thankful for friends, as for the first time in my life I didn’t keep this to myself, I talked about it.  Normally I would have kept this information to myself, dealt with it all quietly, and produced some sort of excuse as to why I wasn’t available. 

I’ve never believed that I should trouble friends or family with my personal health issues, and have countless times kept things away from them, only revealing the situation after the fact.  Perhaps I’m growing, becoming more consciously aware of the importance of friends and being able to honestly talk about the things that strongly impact my life.  This time, it was important to inform my new business partner and co-author, as I felt she needed to know what was happening and could prepare for any outcomes.  This time, I wasn’t concerned about just myself.  This time, there is the realization of the gift I can give of truth that allows for friends to give the gift of themselves.  I’m thankful for the events of yesterday, the learning of the new word, the phone calls with my father, the conversations with friends, and the knowledge that there was actually something causing my health issues and that I wasn’t going crazy.

The journey now begins; another one that deals with my brain.  I’m the creative mind, the dreamer, the visionary, the one that sees what can be; so when there are challenges that deal with my brain, I am always a bit on edge.  I greatly enjoy my mind, how it processes information, how it connects to other realms, and how it allows for the enjoyment of this life.  The bull-riding injury to my head (with 32 stitches from the eyebrow down over the eye and into the right ear.), the Neuro-syphilis, and now a Meningioma, have all been challenges that I’ve dealt with in various ways.  This will be a new adventure, one of unknown outcomes.  For now, this new adventure has my emotions whirling, my thoughts reeling, and my ears tearing.  I have no idea of what to expect next, all I know for now is that I have to talk with the E.N.T. doctor on Monday and that he is going to refer me to a specialist.  From my research and my positive MRI experiences, I’m hoping to be able to have this adventure include St.David’s Neuro Texas Institute here in Austin.  I like the new Sports Medicine Doctor, Dr. Burris, associated with St.David’s Healthcare; I was very pleased with the kind, informative, assistive, and educated people at St.David’s when I was there for my knee and head MRIs.  I’m sure that the Neuro Texas Institute will hold up to the St.David’s experience thus far.

At this moment, I’m preparing for various outcomes and believing for the best.  It might take some time, but I know that this new adventure will lead me to the place and people I’m meant to be and meet.  Although I might be sad at the moment, there is a funny excitement – I learned a new word, Meningioma.

Thought for Today:  What challenges have you faced in your life and how do you deal with them?  Do you develop the victim mentality or choose to accept your role in the challenge and allow growth and change to take you into something greater?