Play Again

Play Again, Restart this game, and Exit are the choices at the end of the computerized Solitaire game.  "Sorry, you lost this game.  Better luck next time/" it reads.  There are times in our lives when we have to make conscious choices to either "Play Again" ("start a new game" or "Return to this game"), "Restart this game" or "Exit".  Lately, after the great Canadian adventure, I'm ready to "Play Again" and I'm choosing to "start a new game" and also to "return to this game", as both apply now.  Sometimes the choices are presented in black and white, yes and now, etc.; however, sometimes the answer isn't either, it can be both or none.  We have to decide for ourselves what we want to do in our physical experiences and not be led by the constraints that society attempts to place.  I'm not talking about such aspects that some consider restraints such as manners, rules, and laws (however, if those do restrain then they can be changed and we should actively seek to change them), but I'm talking about various religious beliefs, social stigmas, and other thoughts that attempt to confine people into labels and boxes, instead of allowing them to be free to find and follow their own path.

Yes, "Play Again" with the selection of both "Restart this game" as it relates to re-connections and second chances with clients, friends, and family; and "Start a new game" as it relates to learning new things, developing new ways of working and living, maybe even starting a new love relationship.  I'm choosing both, as our past is our future, it has brought us to this very point, and will carry us through into the future.  The ghosts of the past never depart and are always with us, encouraging us to move forward through rememberancce.

"Start a new game" is the selection, but this time the new game is of my choosing.  Having acknowledged to the Universe my desire and openess to a relationship, this past weekend provided the beginning of something that I'm looking forward to developing.  Edwardo os his name and we met at our bi-annual PWA camp out, a place I normally just enjoy with friends and making some new friends.  This camp out was different, as I felt my heart begin to open for the first time in several decades.  For the last few days he has been on my mind, and when I catch my thoughts going in his direction, I have to stop and allow myself to work through anything that might prevent my heart from being open to the new game.  There are times when I think, "I'm not ready," or "I'm not sure I like having my thoughts on another person/"  However, I am allowing these thoughts, and am coming to a point that I like the way I feel.  Where it shall take me I am not sure, but for now the thoughts and feelings are positive and open, ready for something great to come.